Christmas Eve 2020

December 24 | -19°C 🌤 | DAY 272 @ 🏠

The presents have been put under the tree and stockings have been stuffed. A plate of cookies, a Christmas orange and a glass of almond milk have been consumed. I had to convince the kid to go with almond milk instead of 2% by informing her that Santa might be lactose intolerant and we don’t want him having to stop to use the washroom at every house he visits tonight. I’m not lactose intolerant, I just prefer almond milk to the real thing.

I worked in retail when I was younger and developed a disdain for the holidays. Working at a Wal-Mart on Christmas Eve really gives you a glimpse at the worst humanity has to offer. Last minute shoppers are the worst. By the end of my shift I’d get home and not want to see anything Christmas related. My kid just turned five this year, and we only got our first tree last year. I’m glad we did, because my kid now has a very clear understanding of what that tree means.

Normally we would spend Christmas Eve/Day at my parents’ house, and the kids would help my mom decorate their tree, but due to COVID-19 we’re only visiting family virtually. So where it comes to Christmas traditions, we’re basically on our own for the first time this year. I’m doing my best to emulate a lot of the foods we’d usually have when we would go to my mom and dad’s house, but there is only the tree of us, and I don’t want to be eating Christmas Dinner at every meal for the next two weeks. We’ll see how things go tomorrow.

I do wish everyday was Christmas Eve. It is the easiest night of the year to get my kid to go to bed and go to sleep without a fight.

In Other News

  • I got a letter from the university today. The faculty of Rhetoric and Communications noticed I did pretty well in my classes last year, so they would like me to consider a major in that field. I am thinking about it. If I can get myself a triple major, I might just go for it. Currently, I’m working on a double major in English and Filmmaking, but I am starting to lose my passion for film. One thing I learned about myself this year is that I enjoy writing far more than I ever thought I did before.
  • At this point, the only thing I would use my film degree for would be as a film critic, and I’m really on the fence about that. As I have gotten older I have tried to avoid falling into the typical critic routine of shitting all over other people’s work. Books, comics and film don’t have it easy when it comes to critics. Everyone wants to be critical, but this stuff is all subjective. One person’s least favourite movie is the another person’s holy grail of cinema. One critic might not like a scene in a movie because of the way a scene was shot makes them uncomfortable, while another critic might say that it’s brilliant because the director was able to convey that feeling of unease to the audience. If a studio has spent $20,000,000 on a movie, there is no way someone in that room is saying “Now let’s go make the worst movie of all time!” I try to consume my media with an open mind, and avoid all reviews as best I can, because it’s just one person’s take on story. If I find that reviewer/critic is the only career for me, I’ll have to find a new way to go about it. I’m not sure I can justify rating a movie on a scale of one to five and then summing it up by saying “this movie is juvenile garbage!” I just quit a job I held for 13 years because I didn’t want to spend another 30 hating it and myself every morning. So if I’m going to consider a career as a critic, I better find a way to make it fun. I just realized now I’m trying to talk myself into becoming a critic. Goddamn it!
  • That being said, if I go for that third major, I may have to drop my comic book class, which would be heartbreaking. Still, gotta do what’s best for me. I took one year off from the workforce to get one degree, and in that time I find I might be finishing that year with three majors.
  • I’m not happy with my film script. I may just shelve it and write a film that I can do by myself like I did with that DIY short back in October. I am at the point of no return right now. I have to write something and I have to film something that I can hand in by mid-March.
  • I need a hobby. Not books, comics, movies or video games. I need something to do that is not media related. Something that mindless and enjoyable that will let me just shut my brain off for an hour or two at night.